got my car back again today... paint is good now after they painted it the wrong color.. idiots... oh well, a quick call to the insurance people fixed that...
woah... things are good... Im a different person... different then i was before.. Ive noticed a big change the last few days that are directly related to the crap i went through with my last girlfriend. Well not directly related, but directly inversly related.. ie. the bad has turned into good... Im noticing a big increase in confidance, not that i wasnt confidant before, but now i feel i am confidant and also a lot more outgoing.
It seems now that what i experienced before with my ex girlfriend was no where near like what a relationship should be, what love should be and also not even close to being related to the term "love". Lust maybe... yeah definately a little lust and maybe a big hearty does of stupidity and nievity (spelling?), but definately not love...
Ive finally got that "tingle" again... the tingle that makes you want to do stuff and generally live life... get out there amongst it so to speak, not that a geek boy like me gets out amongst it a lot, but you know what i mean. (hopefully).
arrr what a pain when you have so much to write, but nowhere near the vocabulary to spit it out... *bleh bleh*
On a more 'down to earth' note.... found out today that my grandfather is getting moved back home from Brisbane cause he is too weak to have any more kemotheropy and they have given him 2 months to live. Damn cancer is a bitch, i would have sworn he would out lasted everyone, he was always the one out and about on the farm doing things and keeping busy and then suddenly it just grabs on and things turn bad. Id have to say that the fact that he cant get out of bed that well and cant get out and do stuff would be driving him crazy. It may even be the thing, that in the end causes him to 'cross over'.
Life is a strange thing, it has its ups and downs, with the odd sideways motion, things happen yet overall we ultimately are born into a body and in the end leave it. But somthing tells me that the things we do along the way has an affect on the ultimate outcome. Its not about money, or possesions or 'notches on your belt', but more about how you have carried youself in the 'life tests' that have so graciously fallen into your lap at random stages of your 'journey'.
In a way it is worrying, but in an even greater way i find it exciting, and tomorrow is always another day.......
